12th ch Physics ch compartment aayi.
Pehla chance gaya. Duja vi. Tija vi.
Saare chances khatam ho gaye.
Officially — “+2 fail.”
Zindagi ch pehli vaar oh level da failure mehsoos hoya, jo bardasht ton bahar si. Lagda si sab kuch khatam ho chukya.
Choti umar ch school de environment ne eh belief dimag ch betha ditta si:
“Jehda bacha fail hunda ae — oh kisi kam da nahi.”
Na oh kuch kar sakda, na oh kisi layak hunda.
School ch ohna naal jiven treat kita janda si — lagda si jiven oh koi jurm kar baithhe hon. Jiven oh pedayishi bevakoof hon. Ohna nu jaanvran vaang barta janda si.
Ajj vi yaad ae — principal khud bacheya nu zameen te lamma pa ke thudde marde, Sotiyan maarde. Jiven kise mujrim nu kuteya janda ae. Oh cheekhan ajj vi kaan ch gunjdiyaan ne.
Main kise teacher di burai nahi kar rahi. Guru da farz ae sahi raah dikhana.
Par maar, dhamki, te abuse naal nahi. Fear di chadar ch jo bacha palda ae, oh hamesha darr ch jeenda ae.
Ik vaar teacher ne second floor ton bache nu thalle degan da draawa ditta — sirf keh ke nahi, practically dikhake. Kehnda:
“Je tu nahi padh ke aaya, ta tenu thalle sutt davan ge.”
2nd class ch ik teacher ne fan de naal kapda bandh ke bache nu ulta tang’an di koshish kiti.
Ohna da maksad si — bache darr jaange ta study krke aunge, par ohdi emotional growth nu maar dinda ne.
Eh nahi socheya — jo bache vekh rahe ne, ohna de mind te kina gehra asar pauga?
Har bacha ikko jeha nahi hunda.
Kise da emotional nature strong hunda ae, kise da soft.
Strong bache ignore kar jaande ne.
Par sensitive bache — oh sab kuch andar tak mehsoos karde ne. Ik vaar jo soch andar tak vas jaye — “Main kisi layak nahi,” — ohnu kadhna asaan nahi hunda.
Mere dimag ch fix ho gaya si:
“Jehda bacha fail hunda ae, oh bekaar hunda ae.”
Main kadey vi fail nahi hovangi. Na hi ho sakdi. Fail hona ik label ban gya, jide naal bache di poori identity jod ditti.
Par fer fail ho gayi.
12th da result aaya — Physics ch compartment. Oh time tak main BCA ch admission le chukki si. Graduation start ho chukki si. Par zindagi ta Physics de us paper ch hi attak gayi si.
Jado 2nd year ch admission da time aaya — Physics da hor chance nahi bachya si.
Admission nahi mili.
Milni vi kithon si? 12th hi clear nahi si.
2 saal ghar baithi rahi. Udeekdi rahi.
Par “fail” da lafz sun ke lagda si —
“Main vi hun ohna vaang hi haan — jo kise kam de nahi.”
Fail hoye insaan nu sirf society nahi — apne aap ton vi sharam aundi ae. Mere andar inni sharam hon lag gayi si ke jinna nu pata vi nahi si, ohna ton vi main apne aap nu lukondi firdi si.
Har kise de samne lagda si — “Eh banda vi mera raaz jaanda ae.”
2019 — Jithe sab kuch hanera si, othe Rabb da divine twist hoya.
Guru Nanak Dev Ji da 550 saal da Gurpurab.
Punjab Board ne fail students nu golden chance ditta.
Main apply kita.
Physics da paper easily pass ho gaya.
Jis din DMC hath ch aayi — oh sirf result da nahi, meri life da “restart button” si.
Rabb kehnda ae:
“Ajj khush ho ja putt. Safar khatam nahi hoya… haje ta shuru hoya ae.”
Navi start, navi dikkat.
12th ta clear ho gayi.
Par graduation ch gap aa gaya si.
College di admission season da wait kitta.
2nd year ch wapas auna chauhndi si.
Par college kehnda:
“Tuhada gap peya ae. Tuhanu 1st year dubara karna pavega.”
Break lag gayi.
Jo already pass kar chukki si — oh saal dubara juniors naal karna… mann nahi man reha si.
Sochiya — diploma ya hor graduation try kar lende haan.
Par kuch samajh nahi aaya.
Finally keh ditta:
“Thik ae. Main 1st year dubara kar lavaangi.”
Form fill kar rehi si — achanak Shivam Kumra Sir mil gaye. (1st year ch teach krde c)
Ohna pucheya:
“Dubara kyu?”
Sab kuch dass ditta.
Ohna keha:
“Koi gal nahi. Tusi documents deo. Main university nu application likhuga. Shaayad 2nd year ch admission mil jave.”
Mennu honsla mil gaya.
Te ho gaya.
University ne accept kar lya.
Mainu 2nd year ch admission mil gayi.
Rabb da shukrana karna vi thoda laggya.
Je oh din Rabb ne Shivam Sir naal mulaqat na karvai houndi — ajj vi main zindagi ch pichhe khadi hundi.
Ohna ne sirf mera admission nahi karvaya —
Ohna ne mere andar Rabb te bharosa hor gehra kar ditta.
Fail hona sharm da nahi — seekhan da chance ae.
Kadey Rabb thalle suttda ae — nafrat naal nahi, sabak naal.
Oh sadda hausla tod’da nahi — test karda ae.
Te jado asi haar man lainde haan — oh kehnda:
“Hun samjhe?”
Te fer khud hi hath pakad ke utha lainda ae.
Jithe 0% umeed hondi — othe vi oh game palat dinda.
Shaayad oh chahunda si — main samjhan:
🪶
“Fail hona sharm da nahi — seekhan da chance ae.”
Ajj oh 2 saal da gap vi bekaar nahi lagda.
Pata kive?
School ch 3rd to 5th class direct shift kar ditta si.
4th kitti hi nahi. “Intelligent student” wali category ch naam si. 😂
Ajj lagda ae — Rabb kehnda:
“4th class skip kitti si na? Lelo, eda hisaab barabar.” 😄
Eh sirf meri kahani nahi.
Eh har us bande layi ae — jo ajj vi soch reha ae:
“Fail ho gaya… sab kuch khatam ho gaya.”
Par hun samajh aunda ae —
Fail hona gunaah nahi hunda.
Eh sirf ik mod hunda ae —
na ke manzil da ant.
Jithe tu khatam samjhe — othe Rabb shuru karda ae.
Har failure Rabb da pause button hunda ae — stop nahi.
Still learning. Still exploring. Still here.
— Simran | Agahi Within
